Sugar Baby Và Sugar Daddy

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As with regular dating, if you dive into the sugaring lifestyle without an idea of what you want, you"re likely to be disappointed.

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Do you want a cash allowance, & do you have a set amount in mind? Is it certain bills you want covered? vì you want gifts, shopping, và travel? Having a clear idea of what kind of "sugar," or exchange, you want for the relationship is key.

How about the actual dating part —do you like dating older men? Because sugar daddies tend lớn be older than the women they date. How much time vì you want lớn spend with your sugar daddy? and does your current lifestyle give you the freedom to vì so?

In my short time as a sugar baby so far, men have paid me $500 a date & bought me designer clothes, $400 dinners, & stays at 5-star hotels I could never afford on my own


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In the six months since I became a sugar baby, I"ve started relationships with men who pay me $500 a date and have purchased me shoes and outfits from designers I could never afford on my own. I dined at restaurants where the bill was $400, and we"d still leave hungry. I spent weekends tucked away in five-star hotels, lazily ordering room service with cringeworthy markups.

While I enjoy expensive dinners and staying in fancy hotels, ultimately I was searching for a friendly relationship that provides a cash allowance. Some men don"t wish lớn provide an allowance, và I avoid meeting và dating those men, often called "experience daddies."


AP Photo/Keith Srakocic

If you"re considering sugar dating solely for the money, it will be much more stressful, since it"ll become a second job.

Sugar dating amplifies the faults of regular, or "vanilla," dating. You may receive messages from, go on first dates with, and be ghosted by far more men than in vanilla dating. & it"s a bad idea to depend on sugar as a primary source of income, because there"s never really any guarantee of stability.

Additionally, financial desperation makes you vulnerable khổng lồ malicious men who have no intentions to lớn provide sugar, or it might influence you to lớn date men you otherwise wouldn"t consider having a relationship with.

Anonymity is key for sugar babies và sugar daddies — I created an alter ego just for my online sugaring presence


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It"s common practice to adopt a sugar identity separate from your real-life identity. My online profile uses a generic name, and I bởi not disclose my real identity — even after I meet my sugar daddy in person, in some cases.

I"m glad I bởi vì that, since every sugar daddy I"ve met has similarly guarded his identity. I suggest creating an alter ego for anyone considering trying any sort of internet fringe dating, especially sugaring.

Along the same lines, I signed up for a few anonymous messaging apps, as well as a giả number. Popular messaging apps for "moving the conversation off the website" include WhatsApp, Kik, Snapchat, WeChat, & Signal, but a phone number is often the preferred method. I suggest getting a Google Voice number attached khổng lồ an anonymous email account.

SeekingArrangement user Simone Toon Marcus Hessenberg/BarcroftImages/Barcroft truyền thông via Getty Images

Getting started with a dating profile as a sugar baby is pretty simple. I described my personality and wrote a few charming epithets that I thought might be appealing to the kind of man I"d lượt thích to spend time with.

The key thing is honesty, both in your self-descriptions & your pictures. While face-altering filters exist & can help mask your identity, apparently it"s a turnoff for men. (And I"ve had men straight-up message me, "Thank goodness you don"t have a dog-filter picture!")

I think the most common misconception about becoming a sugar baby is that sugar daddies are looking to lớn date only 18-year-old blond models. This is largely untrue — being traditionally attractive certainly helps, but a sugar baby can look like any woman of just about any age. I don"t get discouraged, và I try khổng lồ attract only men who I think will find me attractive. Being deceptive with appearances will only hurt you later.

The secrecy of the sugaring lifestyle means I have to lớn be careful about the pictures I use on my dating profiles. Many sugar daddies will run a reverse-image search of sugar babies" profile pictures in an attempt khổng lồ avoid scammers who are using photos from models and influencers.

To protect my identity, I make sure not to use photos that exist anywhere on my social-media accounts. I have a strict "no cross-contamination" rule when it comes lớn photos. Also, I make sure I know which photos are viewable khổng lồ the public and which are available by request only. I"ll often check back and remove viewing privileges from certain men if the conversation didn"t lead any further.

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After dipping my toes in the sugaring community, I began to adopt the language used by sugar babies và sugar daddies in the online world.

Sugar babies & sugar daddies are often referred lớn as SBs and SDs — partly for brevity"s sake & partly because some people are weirded out by saying "baby" & "daddy."

There"s the "meet and greet," or M&G — the sugaring community"s term for a first date. Usually, money doesn"t change hands here, though it"s not unusual for the sugar baby to lớn receive a small gift. Some of the things I"ve received on my first dates include stuffed animals, books, & $300 cash.

Some relationships are PPM, or "pay per meet" — in those arrangements, the sugar daddy gives the sugar baby a specified amount per date. In another type of relationship, sugar daddies give an "allowance" on a set schedule, like monthly or biweekly, either in cash or through a payment app like Venmo. Many relationships start out PPM, as it"s less risky for the sugar daddy than setting up an allowance right away.

"Experience daddies" are the ones who don"t pay sugar babies in money — just gifts like fine dining, hotel stays, và glamorous vacations. A "Splenda daddy" is a sugar daddy with a cheaper budget. & a "salt daddy" is just a jerk, especially if they"re faking generosity just lớn get into your pants.

And though the term"s a bit crass, sugar babies have to lớn be wary of what the community calls a "pump và dump" — the common occurrence of a false sugar daddy not providing any allowance or PPM, getting intimate with a sugar baby, và ghosting. To avoid falling victim to lớn one of these, you should never initiate any intimacy with a sugar daddy unless you"ve already received your sugar.

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To get what I was looking for out of a sugar relationship, I had lớn become comfortable bringing it up with men.

There are plenty of men on the site trying lớn get laid free, so I learned to lớn not assume they"d provide any financial compensation on their own.

I would bring up the subject before the meet-and-greet. When I first began meeting men off the site, I was pretty timid about even mentioning an allowance — and regrettably realized they had no intention of sugaring me.

Some people would say on their profiles that they "don"t want anything transactional," usually meaning they don"t want khổng lồ pay for sex or dating — in fact, the word "transactional" in a profile is pretty much a red flag that sugar babies avoid at all costs.

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Though there are no age limits for sugar babies và sugar daddies, it"s common for a sugar daddy lớn be significantly older than the sugar baby.

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And in many cases, the sugar daddy is married.

Having an extramarital sugar baby requires some màn chơi of discretion. Being recognized in public could cause either of you personal or professional distress, not lớn mention it could lower your sugaring prospects.

Personally, I didn"t have a problem dating sugar daddies who were married. After all, they were the ones who contacted me — và if they are willing to go through the effort of messaging me và agreeing on an arrangement, they"d be willing to bởi it for someone else.

Related: 8 things I wish I knew before I got divorced


It"s important to lớn be on the same page about how much of a time commitment you want in your sugaring relationship.

Some sugar daddies want to lớn meet several times a week, while others prefer once a month.

I find myself liking the attention of men who enjoy hearing from me throughout the week but don"t need my attention all day, every day. I certainly can enjoy the company of an older man & don"t have qualms about being seen in public with a sugar daddy. It"s a decision every person needs to lớn make for themselves.

There are a ton of safety concerns I have to lớn keep in mind as a sugar baby — as well as scams that fake sugar daddies try to lớn run

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On top of setting up a Google Voice number, there are several other safety precautions I had to take as I got deeper into the sugaring lifestyle.

For one, it"s always good to let people know where you are when you"re meeting strangers from the internet. I tell all my dates that I have a friend I need to kiểm tra in with on first dates, and I have never had a negative response khổng lồ this. Everyone agrees — safety first.

I also was very careful when accepting Uber rides or Venmo transactions early on in a relationship. Giving away your address or your regular Venmo handle is giving away không tính phí information. In an age where our phone apps hold so much personal information, being in control of the flow of your personal information is vital.

When I first made my profile, I got an initial flood of messages from men. "How did they even find me?" I wondered. The answer is that scammers prey on new accounts. I learned khổng lồ hold the excitement for a bit và I got comfortable recognizing và weeding out the scammy, copy-paste introductions.

Additionally, I quickly realized that anyone who asks you for your ngân hàng information lớn send you money before you"ve met is a scammer. A common scam involves them sending a check or MoneyGram in excess of your allowance and asking you to purchase a gift thẻ with the excess. This scam works on naive sugar babies who think they"ve received a large gift, when in reality they"ve cashed in on money that their ngân hàng will eventually find is fake, while the scammer walks away with a miễn phí gift card.

Even after meeting, there are plenty of better methods to send you your allowance. No one needs your personal information lớn wire khổng lồ your ngân hàng as if it"s the 1990s. As the eternal truth stands — cash is king.

A prostitute waits for customers at a popular bar district in Shanghai June 7, 2003. Reuters/Claro Cortes IV

Lots of sugar babies shudder at the idea of what they vị as sex work.

I think of sugaring as an enjoyable deviance with a financial benefit, và while I don"t consider it sex work, I understand why some might.

When opening yourself up to lớn fringe dating of any sort, you"ll attract men with varying goals. Some men on SeekingArrangement are looking lớn spend $200 for a quick romp. Other men will want to provide a monthly allowance and business insight for their dates, have an intimate relationship, & even consider marriage down the line.

I find myself somewhere in the middle. I don"t enjoy one-night stands, và I definitely enjoy indulging in a relationship, but wouldn"t consider something permanent with any of the men I"ve been on sugar dates with.

Flickr / Mikael Miettinen

Some sugar babies will ask about platonic arrangements, being turned off by the idea of intimacy with a sugar daddy.

Not surprisingly, most sugar daddies won"t see the value in financially providing for a sugar baby without intimacy.

That said, I have actually met two so far, but not because I went looking for such an arrangement. In one case, the man had some qualms about being intimate, so he paid me for an afternoon of tea và board games, and we had a lovely afternoon just not being lonely.

You don"t find these situations — they find you.


Often on forums where sugaring is discussed, it"s very common for newer sugar babies khổng lồ ask for advice from the community. One of the most popular repeated posts are men looking for "sugar mamas."

The overwhelming response is: Women do not need to pay for sex, và therefore, sugar mamas are next lớn impossible lớn find.

That is not khổng lồ say they don"t exist, but they are the exception, not the rule.

Sugar babies get cash & gifts lớn go on dates with their sugar daddies. Getty Images

As sugaring becomes more mainstream, the potential lớn have your time wasted by a Splenda daddy or a scammer increases.

Becoming a sugar baby requires a great khuyễn mãi giảm giá of patience và willingness lớn go on bad dates before you find someone you want khổng lồ pursue a relationship with.

But it can also be incredibly rewarding & a great giảm giá of fun. I"ve taken multiple flights, received a wide range of allowances and gifts, & met some very interesting people during my short time as a sugar baby.